How do I rebuild my relationship with food?
Whilst the answer to this question is not straightforward, in this post I will share some tips on how you can start your journey of resetting and rebuilding your relationship with food.
But first, let?s begin by talking about what ?relationship with food? even means.
What Does Relationship With Food Actually Mean?
Every single one of us has a relationship with food. It can be negative, neutral, or positive. Food provides the body with the energy to function on a day-to-day basis. For some, that is all that food is to them: fuel to keep their body functioning. These people have a neutral relationship with food.
Having a negative relationship with food could look like the following:
- Thinking about food 24/7.
- Feeling out of control around food.
- Binge eating or constant overeating.
- Feeling stressed, anxious or guilty after eating.
- Feeling stressed and anxious about eating out or going to social events.
- Having strict food rules e.g., no carbs.
It is common that a negative relationship with food has been developed from dieting or has been learned from parents and societal influences. Remember that it is okay if you experience any of the points above. Becoming aware is the first step in starting to reset and rebuild your relationship with food.
Having a positive relationship with food can look like the following:
- Listening to your body?s hunger and fullness cues and honouring them.
- Viewing food as more than just ?fuel?. Knowing that food is a large part of our culture, and it can be enjoyed for reasons other than just ?fuelling? your body, e.g., celebrations.
- Feeling in complete control around ALL foods.
- Never feeling like you must restrict or limit any food groups.
Having a positive relationship with food is an incredible way to live your life. It allows you to have complete control over food, meaning you can put more mental and physical energy towards other areas of your life e.g., work, social life etc.
Resetting and rebuilding your relationship with food can feel uncomfortable, this is because it is different to anything you have ever done before. However, when you are outside your comfort zone is when you are learning, growing, and becoming the best version of yourself.
The 3-Step Method To Rebuilding Your Relationship With Food
Below I have my 3-step method for starting to reset and rebuild your relationship with food. Please remember that everyone?s journey is completely different ? these are just starting points and if you want to dive further into your own journey, I recommend reaching out to get individualised advice.
Step 1: Become Aware
To start your journey, you want to become aware of any patterns or habits you have with your eating behaviours. To do this, I recommend keeping a food and mood journal. This journal is where you spend a couple of weeks writing down every time you eat. You take notes on how you mentally feel before eating, what you are eating, and how you mentally feel after eating. This allows you to become aware of any reoccurring habits you have e.g., the days you feel stressed at work are the days you get home and binge eat chocolate. I would recommend keeping the food and mood journal for at least 2-4 weeks before moving on to step 2.
Step 2: Zone in
Now that you are completely aware of any patterns or habits you have, next you want to zone in on some of them. You want to identify which ones you want to break and overcome first. You will notice that some of the patterns and habits you have feel more daunting to overcome than others. This is completely normal.
You want to rank all the patterns, habits and food rules from least daunting to most daunting. This allows you to have a clear understanding of where you can start.
Step 3: Challenge
Now that you are aware of all your habits, patterns and food rules, and you know which ones you are starting with, it is time to start to challenge them. This could look like:
- Challenging a food rule. If you have told yourself that you are not allowed carbs, you challenge this by eating a bowl of pasta. You prove to yourself that this belief is holding you back and that carbohydrates are actually the body?s number one fuel source and are needed for you to function at an optimal level every day.
- Breaking a pattern. If you find yourself always reaching for chocolate after a stressful day at work, you can break the habit by stopping the habit loop. If you know you?ve had a stressful day, go for a short walk and have a hot shower before you open the pantry and look for food. Then, you will be in a better headspace to decide if you still want the chocolate or not.
- Breaking a habit. If you have found yourself always overeating on Sunday and then ?restarting? your diet on Monday, you can, in fact, break the cycle. Zoom out on your week and weekend. Why do you feel the urge to overeat on the weekend? Have you restricted certain foods throughout the week? Have you told yourself that you?re only allowed treats on the weekends? How can you start to ensure that you are mentally satisfied every day of the week so that you can stay consistent and not overeat on the weekend?
Next Steps & Conclusion
It is important to note that if you are doing these steps on your own, go easy on yourself. This journey is not easy, and it requires a lot of dedication. Some days you will feel like you are achieving so much and other days you will feel like you are going 3 steps backwards. This is completely normal. Remind yourself of why you are doing this health journey and how you and your life will look once you have achieved your goals.
If at any point you get stuck, or it feels overwhelming, reach out for help. You don?t have to go through this alone.
I am proud of you for going on this journey. You?ve got this!